Should I See a Physician?

Note: This contemplation should be read after reading Belief in Two Powers and before reading Dare We Trust God for our Physical Well-Being?

For many years I have not gone to a doctor, except for cataract surgery and dental work. As I looked around me, I saw everyone my age taking pills by the dozen, pills which I learned on television had the most awful possible side effects. Then I would hear of people going into the hospital for the most simple procedure and nearly dying of staph infection or some mistake made by medical personnel. I really wanted no part of it.

Added to this was the fear that if I did go, the doctors would diagnose me with some awful malady, load me up with dangerous pills or hook me to some dreadful machine. My imagination knew no bounds. See What Is Your “Giant”? I convinced myself that I was following the leading of the Spirit and trusting God to be my health.

Family members were always urging me to see a doctor for a checkup; and even my insurance carrier began writing and calling me, urging me to have pneumonia and flu immunizations and all sorts of diagnostic medical procedures. I held out against them all.

But I also knew that where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is liberty (2Corinthians 3:17), and what I was experiencing was more like what Paul said I should not be experiencing:

Galatians 5:1 (KJV) Stand fast therefore in the liberty wherewith Christ hath made us free, and be not entangled again with the yoke of bondage.

I was keenly aware that I was indeed in bondage to the fear of seeing doctors and what they would find wrong with me. So I knew in my heart that I had not yet gotten the revelation that would set me free from this fear that was always operating, even when I was experiencing many and varied healings, one of which is recorded in Judging Arthritis.

A few weeks ago I had a sore throat. The soreness would lessen, but it never completely vanished —even after a bottle of Nyquil and a trip to the chiropractor. And of course the fears returned —with a vengeance. I retired early last night so that I could get quiet and find a place of peace. Almost immediately I felt that I was to write another contemplation. So I crawled out of bed and began to write. I had no idea what I was going to say. I just began to write down whatever came to me. It was the contemplation Belief in Two Powers —down to the incident of Jesus saying to Peter, Get thee behind me, Satan. It was then that I went back to bed and to sleep —after meditating a short while on what I had written, and seeing that it was I who was giving the sore throat all the power that it had to do me harm.

What I didn’t see until sometime during the night was that it was also I who was giving the doctors, the pills and the medical procedures power to do me harm by my believing in two powers, the one good and the other evil. If there is indeed but one power (which is good), then nothing whatsoever (including pills) can hurt me unless I ascribe evil to it. Jesus Himself said that I can drink any deadly thing and it won’t hurt me (Mark 16:18); and of course that would include antibiotics (which in the past have caused me to throw up) or any other medication or medical procedure. And if I don’t ascribe evil to a doctor, that doctor can do nothing that can harm me. Neither can any of his diagnoses, even though they be labeled terminal.

This morning I got up and finished writing the previously mentioned contemplation and began to write this one. A peace came upon me as I came into the revelation that it is not a question of whether or not I go to a doctor for treatment, but rather a question of whether or not I believe in two powers. I must take up my dwelling in the secret place of the most High where I know that no evil can befall me (Psalms 91:1,10) —for in that place of recognition that God is all in all, there is no evil to befall me. Whatever evil I appear to be experiencing I will judge with righteous judgment —that it has to work together for my good (Romans 8:28).

Now I can see that even my experiencing this sore throat is not evil. It is just the Spirit leading me into the wilderness of my carnal thinking so that the lies can be exposed and I can walk forever free from the fear that I can be harmed by anything evil.

Later: I did make a doctor’s appointment for two days hence. I kept the appointment and was prescribed an antibiotic, as I knew I would be. It was six pills, to be taken in five consecutive days. I also allowed my blood to be drawn, since I hadn’t done that for over twelve years. The nurse practitioner strongly advised me to have several medical procedures as preventative medicine; but, to her credit, she didn’t attempt to push me into any of them.

It is day three, and there has been no change in my throat. My first thoughts were about having to return to the doctor and going through multiple tests and coming out with some awful diagnosis. I said to myself, Well, I’d better not launch the website. I’ll be a laughing stock, since I can’t prove in my actual day-to-day life that what I am writing is true. Worse than that, the people who read the contemplations would conclude that God cannot be trusted, that we must rely on man’s wisdom.

I never doubted that what I was writing was truth; but my heart began to sink as I saw myself as unable to really believe this truth in my heart. I figured the old beliefs were so deeply ingrained that I was just unable to renew my mind and prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God (Romans 12:2). But I couldn’t help wondering why would God call me to write all these truths down when He knew I would fail in my efforts to walk them out?

I was very sure that God had instructed me to see a doctor; but now I knew that the antibiotic was not my answer. What am I supposed to see? As I was praying and listening to the still small voice inside, my heart began to sing as the Spirit began to bring to my remembrance several Scriptures and then began to show me what I was to see from them. The first was

1Corinthians 10:13  There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it.

That was easy. I knew that meant that I was ready to bear this trial of my faith (1Peter 1:7) and that God had made a way of escape, even if in my case it is not antibiotics.

Then these Scriptures came to mind:

Isaiah 40:11

He shall feed his flock like a shepherd: he shall gather the lambs with his arm, and carry them in his bosom, and shall gently lead those that are with young.

Psalms 131:1-3

Lord, my heart is not haughty, nor mine eyes lofty: neither do I exercise myself in great matters, or in things too high for me. Surely I have behaved and quieted myself, as a child that is weaned of his mother: my soul is even as a weaned child. Let Israel hope in the Lord from henceforth and for ever.

Psalms 23:1-6

The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want. He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters. He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name’s sake. Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me. Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over. Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the Lord for ever.

As I meditated on these Scriptures, I understood the gentleness of God, not the harshness I had heretofore attributed to Him. I knew that He didn’t make me go through trials to teach me, but that I went through them because of my false beliefs (mine enemies). I recalled that God never told me that I was to see the doctor to cure my throat ailment, but rather to stop attributing evil to doctors and medicine —since there is but one power and it is good.

God showed me further that I was to see the doctor without condemnation so that I would never condemn another for what I had been seeing as not trusting God. He took me back to the prodigal son story (see The Simplicity that Is in Christ) and showed me that He doesn’t condemn (nor should I) either the one who kept the rules or the one who broke them all. He showed me that He is infinitely patient with all His children, gently guiding and never condemning —no matter where they are on this spiritual journey out of death into Life.

God showed me that I must be as free to go to the doctor as I am to not go. God is indeed the health of everyone, whether that health is manifested while taking antibiotics or while refraining from taking them. I realized that it is your Father’s good pleasure to give you the kingdom (Luke 12:32) any way you can receive it and that He will never condemn you, whatever you do or don’t do.

We have what we pray for when (and only when) we believe that we have it (Mark 11:24). It has nothing to do with what we do or don’t do. It has everything to do with what we believe about God and our relationship to Him.

I felt as if I had just walked into a new sense of freedom, that I was free to do whatever I felt in my heart to do and that I was to give everyone else that same freedom, that I was to condemn neither myself nor anyone else.

Now that was a load off my shoulder! I could allow the government of my life (as well as the life of everyone else) to be upon His shoulder (see Government of My Life) as I recognized more completely the absolute truth of these words:

Jeremiah 29:11  For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the Lord, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end.

I understood now that not only is God ABLE to do exceeding abundantly above all that we ask or think (Ephesians 3:20), but that He has already done precisely that:

1Corinthians 2:9  But as it is written, Eye hath not seen, nor ear heard, neither have entered into the heart of man, the things which God hath prepared for them that love him.

I now know that it is not a matter of anything I DO (e.g., going to the doctor or not). It is a matter of what God has already done.

I’ve received God’s reassurance that I can trust Him implicitly to do all that He puts in my heart to do —in my case, to write down and publish whatever He gives me and, more importantly, to, without fear, walk according to what is in my heart while encouraging everyone else to do the same. I have another level of understanding of the truth that the Holy Spirit is always saying to each one of us, This is the way, walk ye in it (Isaiah 30:21) and that we can walk that way in perfect peace as we keep our mind stayed on God (Isaiah 26:3), and not on what all the other voices are saying (1Corinthians 14:10).

Added note: About a week or two after I finished taking the antibiotics, my throat stopped being sore.