Today I made homemade buns and barbecue sauce for the twenty-five steak burgers my husband was going to grill. It was to be a wonderful meal for today and lots of leftovers for the freezer. The last time he grilled them, they were really scrumptious and a big hit. But I thought they were just a tad overdone, so I suggested he not cook these quite as long. I wanted them to be perfect!
Well, the fire never really got hot enough and cooled down very quickly so that the last few burgers he cooked were half raw inside. And we had to put the remaining eight burgers back in the refrigerator because we didn’t have enough fire to grill them.
I began to feel half raw inside
myself as I grilled
my husband about why the fire didn’t get hot, how long he had cooked the burgers, did he use the same amount of charcoal, etc., etc. The meal which could have been a peaceful, pleasant affair was anything but. I felt that old familiar knot
returning to my stomach.
While wrapping the buns and the leftover burgers, I got quiet and had revealed to me once again that I do indeed create my own experiences by my attitude toward them, by what I think on and am aware of inside (See Consciousness Manifested). I had been thinking and worrying that the burgers might not be done just right; and guess what? What I feared greatly came upon me,
as it did upon Job (Job 3:25).
I also recalled writing the essay What Is Your “Giant”? wherein I explained that we can’t have anything until we let go of it, that we have to remove the value from everything —or it will possess us. I understood that I must remove the value from properly cooked burgers. It must become unimportant to me. For what I hold onto I lose —my life or anything else.
Matthew 10:39 He that findeth his life shall lose it: and he that loseth his life for my sake shall find it.
Having understood this, I repented [Strong 3340: to think differently or afterwards, i.e. reconsider (morally, feel compunction) —repent]. That doesn’t mean I felt remorseful and begged God to forgive me. I just began to think differently about the importance of properly cooked burgers. I put them in their proper place by taking the value away that I had placed on them. Immediately I felt the freedom and joy that comes from true repentance. It really no longer mattered to me how they were cooked —not because I don’t enjoy good food, but rather because I enjoy doing things God’s way more. I enjoy the righteousness, peace and joy of living in the kingdom of heaven so much more than the fear, anxiety and confusion that comes from being of
this world (using man’s wisdom, which is foolishness to God).
As my joy returned to me, I heard my husband saying, The fire revived; where are the other burgers?
I just had to smile. Knowing God as I do, I wasn’t exactly surprised that I could now have what I had let go of —but I didn’t expect it to happen so quickly. Very soon I was in possession of eight perfect steak burgers.
But remember, God is not mocked
(Galatians 6:7–see God Is not Mocked); nor will He be manipulated. I cannot just change my attitude to get the results I want —because, in truth, that is not a change of attitude at all. It is still I want what I want
rather than I will suffer the loss of anything and everything that I might know Christ Jesus my Lord
(Philippians 3:8).