For many decades I read the Bible constantly, sometimes several times a year. But when God began to reveal to me alternative readings of Scripture (see Cost of Knowing Truth, Encouragement to Continue and But What About . . .?), I confess that I really ceased to read the Bible as I had previously. I would only read what God was bringing to my remembrance at the time. When I would read an entire book of the Bible, I would become confused and afraid as I attempted to understand what I was reading. So I spent a lot of my time reading and listening to those who didn’t have the orthodox upbringing that I had and who could see in all Scripture the “true God” that Jesus revealed and prayed that we would know.
Quite recently I felt that it was now time for me to return to the deliberate and consistent reading of Scripture. I prayed for wisdom and understanding as I set myself to this task, believing that God gives wisdom “liberally” to those who ask (James 1:5). But very soon the old confusion and fear began to return as I once again saw myself faced with the angry, wrathful God dealing out eternal punishment to those who strayed. Even confining myself to the New Testament didn’t help as I read the words of Jesus, Peter and Paul. I began to lose all perspective and started to doubt all I had heretofore written—as I had thought it was revealed to me. Yesterday and last night as I was reading Ezekiel, I could only think, “What is all this about wheels and a man with a measuring reed and these endless temple dimensions? Jesus said I must become as a little child to enter the kingdom, but no child (or adult) can ever hope to understand this!” This morning upon awakening I was feeling that since I had no hope of ever making sense of all I was reading, I would just admit it and leave off trying to either understand or write.
Then the still small voice inside spoke to me, “That’s your problem. You want to understand it with your human mind—which can never be done because
1Corinthians 2:14 . . . the natural man receiveth not the things of the Spirit of God: for they are foolishness unto him: neither can he know them, because they are spiritually discerned.
“And you want to understand it so that can be assured that you have it right and will not lead others astray by getting it wrong.”
That seems a noble desire, doesn’t it? But it isn’t. It is just the ego, the humanity, the “son of perdition” that Paul talks about “sitting in the temple of God, showing himself that he is God” (2 Thessalonians 2:4—see The Greatest Deception). In my humanity, I cannot know anything myself (1Corinthians 8:2 And if any man think that he knoweth any thing, he knoweth nothing yet as he ought to know.) or teach anyone else (1John 2:27 But the anointing which ye have received of him abideth in you, and ye need not that any man teach you: but as the same anointing teacheth you of all things, and is truth, and is no lie, and even as it hath taught you, ye shall abide in him.). I have to reckon that humanity “dead” (Romans 6:11); indeed, it has to “die daily” (1Corinthians 15:31).
Although Solomon (the wisest man) repeatedly admonishes us to “get understanding” (Proverbs 4:5, 7; 16:16), he also says
Proverbs 3:5 Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. 6 In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.
So we see that the understanding of the human mind cannot be depended upon; it is only the understanding revealed to us by the Spirit.
It always comes back to this, doesn’t it?
2Corinthians 4:7 But we have this treasure in earthen vessels, that the excellency of the power may be of God, and not of us.
Ephesians 2:8 For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God: 9 Not of works, lest any man should boast.
God Himself has taken full responsibility for our salvation on every level. Any time our humanity wants to take any credit, we are the “son of perdition” attempting to show ourselves to be God, “that Wicked” which is “destroyed with the brightness of his coming” (2Thessalonians 2:8).
We are reminded of this truth when we read the story of Gideon (Judges 6ff) who, though totally devoid of any natural courage, took 300 men (because God wouldn’t allow him to take more, lest they think their victory was “of themselves”) and defeated the Midianites (who were as grasshoppers in multitude) with trumpets, empty pitchers and lamps—but not until after he sacrificed to God by night because he was afraid to do it by day and not until after he put out two “fleeces” to make sure it was really the Lord giving him instructions.
This is an example of God bringing to my remembrance a story recorded in the Old Testament to confirm a truth spoken to Paul (and to us): “My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness” (2Corinthians 12:9).
There are elements in the story of Gideon that I still don’t understand, that in my humanity I cannot understand; but I can receive the truth revealed to me in that story and be confident that God will reveal anything else either when He chooses or when I am able to hear it.
And so it is with all other Scripture
2Timothy 3:16 All scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness:
Scripture cannot “profit” me if I am unacquainted with it.
These scriptures have been brought to my remembrance today, scriptures that will enable me to become acquainted with all Scripture without fear or confusion:
Proverbs 3:5 Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. 6 In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.
Psalms 56:3 What time I am afraid, I will trust in thee.
I will, therefore, continue to read and meditate upon both the Old and New Testaments, no longer leaning upon my own understanding, no longer being troubled by that which I don’t understand, knowing that God has given to me His Spirit to guide me into the truth that I need to know when I need to know it.
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